Paragraph Revision

Original:
1) One of the the most effective things that I saw in Prof. Law's teaching of the writing process was her use of "error logs".
2) When the students turn in the final draft, the teacher grades and comments on them for conceptual and mechanical flaws.
1) At that point, the students are given the opportunity for a revised grade only if they complete their error logs.
3) The student must look up every mistake in their handbook and copy the rule onto a piece of paper.
3) Then, they must rewrite the flawed sentence/word/idea and incorporate it into the revised paper.

Revised:
Students are also led through the revision process by using "error logs". When they turn in their final draft, the teacher grades and marks them for conceptual and mechanical flaws. At that point, the students are given the opportunity for a revised grade only if they complete their error logs. Each student must look up every mistake in their handbook and copy the rule onto a piece of paper along with the flawed sentence/ word/ idea. Finally, all revisions must be incorporated into the new draft.